Urban Survival Skills
2016 Edition
James E. McGuire
There are basic life skills that one should have before
graduating from high school. Growing up in frontier America, one might have needed
to know how to kill and dress a deer.
Growing up on a farm, you might have needed to learn how to milk cows
and feed chickens. Those skills are
irrelevant to life in an urban environment, replaced by other skills needed to
survive and to thrive.[1]
Test yourself: which of these skills
have you mastered and which are you working on now? Are your parents helping you to be
independent or hindering you by doing these things for you? Are there other skills that you want to have
before you graduate and leave home?
1.
Know your body and how to care for it.
Ø I can (and do) go to the doctor by myself (and
know when I am sick enough to need it).
Ø
I take care of my own health care needs
(medications; allergies, glasses, contact lenses, hearing aids).
Ø
I take care of my body (know how much sleep I
need, what it means to eat
sensibly, to exercise in moderation, and to drink responsibly).
Ø
I
know how babies are made and what safe sex means.
2.
Know how to manage your money.
Ø
I
have my own checking account and ATM card (and know how to use them).
Ø
I
know the value of money; what things cost; how much I would have to work to pay
for goods and services (clothes, restaurant meals, travel, electronic stuff).
Ø
I
know how to live within a budget.
Ø
I
am financially literate: I know about bank
finance charges, credit card interest rates, and the costs of borrowing money.
3.
Know how to live by yourself.
Ø
I know how to set an alarm, wake on my own, and
arrive on time at the places I need to be.
Ø
I know how to cook (basics for breakfast, lunch,
and dinner), including shopping and cleaning up the kitchen (I know a sink
needs to be cleaned and counters wiped).
Ø
I know how to do my own laundry (folding and
storing my clothes) (using an iron is optional) (Meg: “One pair of red sox in a
load of whites=pink underwear for the year.”
“Twice as much soap as recommended does not make clothes twice as
clean.)
4.
Know how to live with others.
Ø
I know how to live with others, respecting
common area space, keeping it free from my clutter, and picking up after
myself.
Ø
I
know how to have a conversation about shared chores and responsibilities (I
have had this conversation with my parents/siblings).
Ø
I
do my share (and more) of common area chores.
Ø
I
know the basics of being an overnight guest (pitch in; be neat; make the bed;
bring a gift; turn off my phone and carry on a conversation).
5.
Know how to travel.
Ø
I know how to ride a bike and drive a car
(filling with gas, mandatory; driving stick shift or changing a tire,
optional).
Ø
I know my way around town-when to walk, when to
ride; how to be street smart and street safe.
Ø
I know how to use public transportation,
including subways, buses, trains, planes, and taxis.
Ø
I know how to pack for a day, for a week-end or
for a week, including my electronic gear, power cords and adapters.
Ø
I know how to navigate—I can read subway maps,
paper maps, and use a GPS on my phone or in a car.
Ø
I know how to fly --how to go through airport
security like an experienced traveler, how to find my gate, how and when to
check-in and where to retrieve my luggage.
6.
Know how to dine in public.
Ø
I know the differences between restaurants and self-serve/fast-food
places.
Ø
I know and use good restaurant manners—how to
order, how to treat wait staff with respect, how to eat, and how to pay,
including who to tip and how much.
7.
Know how to use computers and phones
responsibly.
Ø
I know how to touch-type.
Ø
I know how to store, retrieve, and back-up my
work.
Ø
I know and practice proper netiquette.
Ø
I have a better source for sex education than
watching porn.
8.
Know how to get a job and keep it.
Ø
I know how to apply for a job.
Ø
I have a current resume.
Ø
I know how to work: how to show up on time and
put in an honest day’s work for a day’s pay, how to be a team-player; how to
stand up for my rights without getting fired.
9.
Know how to plan and schedule.
Ø
I know how to budget my time, including creating
short-term and long-term schedules.
Ø
I know how to plan an event (party, conference,
other) and how to execute my plan.
10.
Know how to say no.
Ø
I know my limits and my personal goals and
values.
Ø
I know how to say “no” and to avoid being
pressured to do things (drinks; drugs; sex) that I don’t want to do (ever or at
that time or with that person).
Learning these skills starts long
before you graduate. You need to work
with your parents to develop your plan: how much responsibility (and freedom) to
ask for at what age(s). Learn how to ask
for reasons behind rules that are imposed on you. Accept that you will make mistakes. That is
how we all learn. Grandparents can help you and it works best when everyone shares
the same goal: creating strong,
independent, competent children ready for life. In the end, of course, it is up
to you to be the person you want to be.
[1]
This
skills checklist is based on one that my wife Claire and I prepared in the
1970s, raising children in the suburbs of Boston. The list has been updated with the inputs
from our adult children, from our great niece, Nina Weisbrod, a recent high
school graduate who has mastered most of this checklist, from Meg, who provides
care for our grand-children, Sam, Andy, and Abby, helping them master life
skills, and from Ariel Plevan, nearly 12 years old, who made his own unique
contribution as a New Yorker: “Know how to talk to people on the phone when
ordering food.” I was prompted to update my checklist by a recent article entitled
“12 Basic Life Skills Every Kid Should Know”, dated June 24, 2016. http://www.parenting.com/child/child-development/12-basic-life-skills-every-kid-should-know-high-school. It is well worth reading.
